


Magnus Archives Q&A Special (Mechanisms Edition)

by Blue_Rive



Series: TMA Is The Mechanisms' Podcast [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: (doesn't happen onscreen), (just the typical mechs murder), (though it does have spoilers), Canon-Typical Cannibalism, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Gen, Minor Character Death, The Magnus Archives Is The Mechanisms' Podcast, both tims are mentioned, but i opted not to tag for them, but really that's not even that necessary, def more of a mechs fic than a tma fic tho, it's quite a lighthearted fic, or: my take on the college band aus, probably overwarning honestly, so if you're going in only knowing tma might lose some of it, that are quite annoying as a mechs fan, this works if you have little/no knowledge of tma, would say a small bit of mechs knowledge is required
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26122465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Rive/pseuds/Blue_Rive
Summary: In which more questions are raised then answered.
Relationships: Drumbot Brian & Jonny d'Ville
Series: TMA Is The Mechanisms' Podcast [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897426
Comments: 47
Kudos: 199
Collections: Jonny D'ville pretends he's Jarchivist





	Magnus Archives Q&A Special (Mechanisms Edition)

**Author's Note:**

> -questions are taken from all of the magnus archives q+a's- mostly the ones that i thought would be fun/interesting for this fic!
> 
> -i've decided to not put any users' actual names (daisywonk was my username on a forum about rat care when i was ten)

_ MAGNUS ARCHIVES Q+A TRANSCRIPT _

JONNY: Killers and renegades, liars and thieves! This is the Magnus Q+A special, created for your viewing- fuck, I mean your listening- pleasure, and because Ashes has a grudge. I bear no liability for what I did at that restaurant. 

BRIAN: Jonny, they don’t know who Ashes is.

JONNY: They do so. It’s on the wikipedia. They’re in Basira’s little infobox thing.

BRIAN: That’s not a  _ proper  _ introduction.

JONNY: What, you want me to give them everyone’s fucking biographies?

BRIAN: Well, yes. Or- at least introduce yourself?

JONNY: Fine. I’m Captain d’Ville.

BRIAN: Er… well… not really.

JONNY: You’re rubbish at this.

BRIAN: I know! I don’t like mocking people! It just feels so  _ empty  _ if I don’t say it, though.

JONNY: No, one second, let’s run it again. [BRIAN [Speaking under him]: Yeah, okay, alright-] “I’m Jonny d’Ville, your humble captain.” 

BRIAN: First mate!

JONNY: You did it!

BRIAN: I know. I’m proud of myself.

JONNY: Good on you.

BRIAN: Right, well, I’m Dru- I’m Brian, I play Martin and also I’m one of the writers.

JONNY: Ooo, fancy.

BRIAN: Well, my character has a different name than I do, so it’s important to clarify!

JONNY: Why the fuck would they be listening to this if they hadn’t gotten through enough to know what Martin sounded like?

BRIAN: Transcripts! You can’t tell voices through those.

JONNY: Alright, alright-

BRIAN: Lots of people have audio processing issues, Jonny!

JONNY: Yeah, fine. D’you have the questions?

BRIAN: Yes, uh, I’ve actually been looking over them-

JONNY: Nerd. 

BRIAN: I want to be prepared! Anyway, first question is “How do you plot both in a single episode and the metaplot?” 

JONNY: I feel like we can answer most of these questions with ‘We went to a fucked up alternate universe Earth one time’. 

BRIAN: Well, no, I mean- the writing process. There’s nine of us, right? Nine writers. We, uh, we all work on episodes separately, and do our own ones, but we do know the metaplot and we didn’t need to work that out together because it’s a true story.

JONNY: Yeah, it was weird as hell. Ashes got, like, spider powers.

BRIAN: I was stuck to the wall for like three days. Regretted all my life choices. Anyway! How far in advance do we plan the characters’ individual arcs? And on that, it’s stuff like, y’know, did we know Tim Stoker’s backstory starting off, all that. 

JONNY: Fucked up planet. Next question.

BRIAN: Ah-

JONNY: I talked to Stoker one time, actually. Decent guy, so of course he died straight off. 

BRIAN: Spoilers!

JONNY: This is the Season 4 Q+A, I hope they know what happens in Season 3. Anyway, aren’t your prophecies like, the ultimate spoilers?

BRIAN: What? No!

JONNY: Yeah, like… for life. Life spoilers. 

BRIAN: But they’re helpful!

JONNY: You read the last pages of books first as a kid, didn’t you.

BRIAN: Rude. Next question: How did- 

JONNY: Fucked up planet. I read your paper with the questions on it. That’s the next one too. Why did everyone assume we made it up?

BRIAN: Because they don’t have fear gods on their planet!

JONNY: Yet.

BRIAN: That’s… okay! Uh, someone asked, how do we soundscape the violence?

JONNY: We don’t. 

BRIAN: Yeah, we… don’t do this at home!

JONNY: Do do it at home. It’ll be fun. Except when we had the Toy Soldier actually tie me up and ramble to me for a few days, ‘cause that got a bit boring. I mean, I like talking to it, but there’s only so long a man can go tied to a chair without any violence. 

BRIAN: That wasn’t actually for the podcast.

JONNY: It  _ what?  _

BRIAN: Moving on! Which was our favorite episode or scene to record this season?

JONNY: Blowing up Gunpowder. Next question. 

BRIAN [starting to read another question]: What cat-

JONNY: It was just so satisfying. We didn’t even keep the explosion in the final take, I just wanted to kill him.

BRIAN: What cat was the inspiration for the Admiral?

JONNY: I don’t know. I don’t like cats. Tim was the one who actually wrote the Admiral in. I don’t know if he was based on a specific one. We have a lot. They’re a plague. It was probably fucking… some stupid-ass name. He told me he named one ‘Captain’ the other day so it could outrank me. The Admiral might be another attempt at an insult. 

BRIAN: Captain is a good cat. Mostly. She did, uh. Did try to eat me! So. A lot of people were wondering, do you actually have a British accent? And I think this Q+A has made that kind of clear, because you’re just using your normal voice here, but if you want to tell them- 

JONNY: England isn’t real.

BRIAN: It is. Tim’s from there.

JONNY: Tim’s a lying bastard. England doesn’t exist.

BRIAN: You went- you’ve  _ been  _ to England!

JONNY: No, I haven’t.

BRIAN: The Toy Soldier is from England and it won’t shut up about it!

JONNY: The Toy Soldier is from Greek Space England. Doesn’t count. 

BRIAN: That doesn’t- that doesn’t mean you can dismiss England as a whole.

JONNY: I looked it up. The Internet says it’s not real.

BRIAN: Where did you look it up?

JONNY [clearly making something up]: Fuck. Uh. I. Um. I’ve got a cyberlink in my head.

BRIAN: That’s Nastya’s thing. 

JONNY: She gave me one. 

BRIAN: That’s a lie. 

JONNY: Anyway! [slides into a slightly more pronounced accent] My accent started out as New Texan, but now it’s just a mess ‘cause I’ve stolen all of these fuckers’ accents and fused them into mine. The British I put on for Jon’s fake. 

BRIAN: Okay, moving on-

JONNY: As is Britan.

[Brian sighs.]

BRIAN: So the next question is… oh. It’s ‘how did you all meet?’

JONNY. Ha. Guessing that random Redditor number #27 [BRIAN: Actually, their username is Daisywonk-] Yeah, whatever- guessing they don’t know what a loaded question that is.

BRIAN: We have songs about it!

JONNY: Basically, we all got- rescued by? Kidnapped by? Decided to hang out with because you were young and dumb and she said she had a spaceship?-the same person. We’ve known each other for  _ years.  _ Millenia, in fact. 

BRIAN: The conspiracy boards are going to go mad, Jonny, you can’t just say things like ‘millenia’. 

JONNY: I’m not gonna hide anything. Besides, I  _ like  _ watching the mortals try to piece stuff together. Have you seen what they’re doing with the Magnus lore? Stunning work. I’ve got plans to fuck it up. 

BRIAN: That’s just mean. Okay, next question. Where do we find or meet all of our, ah, our incredible guest voice actors?

JONNY: We kidnap them and force them at gunpoint to perform.

BRIAN: I- yes. I did try and stop them from doing that!

JONNY: I don’t see the problem. It’s a competitive industry. We’re giving them opportunities. 

BRIAN: You killed someone!

JONNY: Well, see, her character had died! I’m not going to start soundscaping now! 

BRIAN: Jonny, that’s- that’s not an excuse for murder. 

JONNY: I think you’ll find I don’t need an excuse.

BRIAN [Voice taking on a bit more fear]: Please don’t shoot me. Really, Jonny! I- it’d mess up the recording equipment!

JONNY: Fine. 

BRIAN: [Long, quavering sigh]  _ Thank  _ you. 

JONNY: I’ll read the next question, shall I? It’s ‘When are we going to get a live show?’ Well, my delicious friend, we’re a few hundred years away but we can time travel back and do one if we remember. Hopefully with high mortality rates! I do love doing shows. 

BRIAN:  _ Jonny.  _

JONNY [restraining laugher]: Oh, so this next question is ‘Are you vegetarian? After all those Flesh statements, I might become one myself.’ Well-

BRIAN: We’re ending it here. We’re ending it here. Thank you all so much for your support, and listening to our podcast, and I swear no matter what our Patreon says we do not murder people who can’t give us money, we understand if it just doesn’t work for you-

JONNY: I thought you couldn’t lie?

BRIAN: I’m on EJM- wait, are you saying you’ve been murdering people who haven’t donated?

JONNY: No.

BRIAN: Thank god.

JONNY: Ashes has. 

BRIAN: I- okay, I need to- bye!

JONNY: Goodbye!

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment!


End file.
